When I was a little girl, I saw an independent film about a woman who gave up on love and lived off of one-night stands. She had gone through so many men in her lifetime and one day, when she thought she found love, she wanted to treat him differently. She loved the way this one guy made her feel when he called her on the phone or told her how beautiful she was. She was always smiling around him and had plenty of opportunities to have sex with him, but every time he tried she would deny him. She wanted to make it special so she decided to put off sex. When she finally decided to have sex with him, little did she know that the man she became so in love with turned out to be a one-minute man. I never understood what the problem was. She was having sex with a very attractive man. What was her deal?
Now that I am a grown woman I understand what she went through because I've experienced it firsthand. Having sex with someone is about more than just climaxing. It's about the flirting, the foreplay, and even the dry humping. When I have sex with someone, I don't expect them to make love to me. I expect them to treat me like a piece of meat. Get in, get out, and get on with their lives. Hoping that the 'get in, get out' part is around 6 to 10 minutes.
There are two things that I hate during sex: talking and rapid climax. At least with talking, I can still enjoy the intercourse with the small price to pay of hearing someone ask me something unimportant like, "you like that?" or "where are the condoms?". However, with rapid climax, it's just wam, bam, thank you ma'am. It's like they get a few thrusts and ejaculate and I haven't even started touching myself. What's even worse is when someone penetrates me, pulls out, and ejaculates all over my stomach and chest. Well, now it's time to get this premature ejaculation business off my chest! Literally...
It's one thing if I'm at the mall with some guy and we go to a fitting room and have a quickie. Fine. I don't expect a man to take his time during that situation. We can definitely shave a few minutes off of foreplay time. But if I'm going home with a guy or I'm spending the night, I expect it once before we go to sleep and again when we wake up. And I expect it long and hard! No pun intended. At the same time, I don't expect a man to take hours either. I once had sex with a porn star and after what seemed to be like 30 minutes of intercourse, I decided to just cum all over myself and throw in the towel. I must admit, however, that I'd rather go through that situation again, then through the sixty-second situations I've had already.
I remember sitting in my college dorm room looking for sex on Myspace and came across a profile of a Mexican guy. For the sake of anonymity let's just call him Victor Cruz. Victor was a very good-looking guy and for some reason the one thing that stuck out the most about him were his eyebrows. They weren't too manly to the point where they were replaced by tattoos and they weren't too feminine to the point where they looked like upside down check marks. It's so annoying when a man's eyebrows are so groomed that it looks like he has the letter M on his forehead. Anywho, we talked for a bit before meeting up and he told me about his boring life and showed me a couple of interesting photos. He didn't have the best body, but he was still a strong, husky man, which I still appreciate. When we met up, we ended up watching TV for what seemed to be like a lifetime and a half until he finally laid my head on his lap. He worked his hand inside my pants and at that point I knew it was time. I started to undo his pants and give him head and I swear to god, I've never given head for so long in my life. I took this time to try new things and get creative. I went in different directions and at different speeds. I tried some maneuvers that I'd seen in porno clips and even tried a technique from a woman's magazine called Cosmopolitian. No matter what I did, however, he always had the same reaction. Nothing seemed to be better than anything else. Maybe I was doing something wrong. Maybe I wasn't spinning my tongue the right way. Either way, that was the last time I took advice from Cosmopolitan. After what seemed like years of giving head, he gets up to go get a condom. I decided to run to the bathroom and have a little last minute cleansing to make sure I don't smell too shitty. He comes back and sits down on the couch, putting the condom on his penis. I stand on the couch and get ready to sit on him. As soon as he's entered me entirely he says, "I just nutted." I was pissed.
"What?" I asked.
"I'm finished." He said.
"Oh," I said, obviously disappointed. He said our time together was fun and how he had a great time. I couldn't stop wondering who it was fun for or what a bad time would be like. I was pissed the whole way home because not only was I expecting a fair amount of intercourse, but the bastard didn't even offer me a ride home either. He texted me about a week and a half later asking if I wanted to pay him a visit. My response: "Yeah sure. Oh, wait. Never mind. I just came. This was fun."
Another guy that I met up with didn't even make it as far as Victor did. I never thought that would be possible, but my bad luck never fails to make miracles happen. I was on a website called Downelink which is like Myspace but strictly for gay people and by gay people I mean mostly Filipinos. I came across a profile by someone who's profile name was Dirty Dirty. Like Victor, Dirty Dirty didn't have the best body either. He was slim and fit, but his face is what really caught my eye. He had a really strong jaw line and big brown eyes. He was also very funny, which made me want to have sex with him more than just once.We met up at night where he picked me up from my house to take me to a park. I didn't know we were going to a park until I got in the car and naturally I just acted dumb as if I didn't know why we were going there. We went straight for the swings and began talking about something stupid like tampons or farts and like usual he was making me laugh. Half the time he was actually really funny and the other half I would laugh anyways just because he was cute and for some reason he liked my annoying laugh.
"I have an idea." Dirty Dirty said. "Let's play hide n seek." I was a little scared because one, I didn't exactly know where he was going with this and two, I've also suggested hide n seek when meeting up with a guy, but that was because I wanted him to close his eyes and count to thirty so I can run back home.
"Okay," I said. "but you're it!" I didn't plan on running away from him, but I didn't want karma to bite me in the ass that night.
"Rock, paper, scissors." Dirty Dirty negotiated.
"Fine." I agreed. Of course I lost. I went to a tree and started counting facing the tree, but by the time I got to nine, Dirty Dirty started kissing my neck. What a dirty, dirty trick he played. He unbuttoned my skinny jeans and took them off pretty easily. Either he has a few pairs himself or he's had other bottoms who wear the same jeans. Either way I wanted to know his secret because even when I'm sober I spend way too long taking off my jeans after a long night out. Anywho, he started rimming me for a while and I decided to return the favor by going down on him. Luckily, I didn't have to spend time making him erect. I heard him moaning like crazy and thought to myself, "man, I am doing a damn good job this time around." And then he came in my mouth. Not only was I pissed for not getting penetrated, I was disgusted by the salty taste of his cum in my mouth. I don't know about you guys, but having cum in my mouth tastes like someone just blew their nose in my mouth, using my tongue as a tissue. I spit out the cum and stayed bent over because I thought I might throw up.
"You're really good at that." said Dirty Dirty.
"I would have appreciated a little warning." I said. I spit out what I could of his remains inside my mouth and started picking up my pants.
"I thought you knew I was cumming." He said.
"I just thought you were loud in bed." I responded. I started walking away. Luckily, home wasn't far away.
"Where you going?" he asked.
"Home!" I screamed.
"You want me to come?" He asked.
"You already did!" I yelled. I never saw Dirty Dirty again, but he did message me on Downelink a few times after that, asking if we could arrange another meeting. I sent him a link to a page on how to exercise kegel muscles and he asked me what it was. I haven't communicated with him since.
Despite the lack of sex from the two stories above, nothing was worse than my most previous story about rapid climax. It doesn't involve one, but two men! No, it wasn't a threesome, but that would be funny if we were all getting hot n heavy and they both came at the same time while I was barely getting warmed up. Even funnier, if they had made each other cum while I was barely taking off my clothes or something. Anywho, I was having a night out on the town and wasn't drunk enough to find a man to take home from the club. I ended up taking two ecstasy tablets throughout the night, which resulted in me leaving the club very horny. I immediately started going on Grindr to look for sex and was surprised at the amount of men who were up looking for sex and hadn't even been out partying like me. I found one guy who looked pretty husky and I began entertaining myself with the idea of him picking me up and throwing me around. Husky wasn't too far from the club so I was there within ten minutes. When we met up, he was a little fatter than I expected but I was in no position to turn down sex at this point. We started getting to business and before you know it, he was getting up to go get a condom. After putting on the condom and lube, he penetrated me slowly and took long pauses. At first, I thought maybe I farted on accident and didn't feel or hear it, but then he began to go a little faster.
"I'm gonna blow." said Husky.
"Wait!" I exclaimed. I put one of my feet on his chest and gently pushed him off of me.
"What's the matter with you?" He asked, a little surprised at my reaction.
"Sorry." I said. "I wasn't ready." Husky penetrated me again and went just as slow as before. At this point, I wanted it to end since I probably would have had a better time having sex with a tiki torch. I felt like the sex wasn't going anywhere.
"Here I cum!" he said. Then he had some sort of climaxing seizure and laid on top of me. I asked him to get off so I can get dressed and get the hell out of there. "You don't want to stay the night?" He asked.
"Nah, I gotta get going." As soon as I left his house I went back on Grindr and within seconds Husky messages me again.
"Seconds?" He asked.
"No." I responded. "I already wasted sixty with you." I blocked him and haven't spoken to him since.
Soon after, I found another guy who was looking for sex who was right around the corner from Husky's house. He gave me his address and I made my way over. I told him I was outside and when he answered the door, I noticed that he had a white substance on both corners of his mouth.
"What's on your face?" I asked.
"Oh, that's probably the speed." He answered. Talk about a great first impression. I must admit I was a little happy to hear that he was under the influence of something because it gave me hope that it would prevent him from ejaculating so quickly. He led me up to his room and neither of us didn't want to waste any time. We were maybe 2 minutes into foreplay and already I was asking him to get a condom. He put on the condom and applied the lube and I began to ride the shit out of him.
"Blast off." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"I just came." He responded. I don't know if I was more mad that he came so unexpectedly without a moan or the fact that he said 'blast off' after he ejaculated. At this point, I was so furious that I just wanted to go buy a vibrator and lock myself in my room for the rest of the week.
"You've gotta be shitting me." I said. I started to get up and get dressed.
"What's wrong with you?" asked Speedy.
"Nothing's wrong with me. You're the minute man." I answered.
"What's that?" he asked. At this point I was halfway down a flight of stairs.
"Google it!" I yelled.
Now that I am a grown woman I understand what she went through because I've experienced it firsthand. Having sex with someone is about more than just climaxing. It's about the flirting, the foreplay, and even the dry humping. When I have sex with someone, I don't expect them to make love to me. I expect them to treat me like a piece of meat. Get in, get out, and get on with their lives. Hoping that the 'get in, get out' part is around 6 to 10 minutes.
There are two things that I hate during sex: talking and rapid climax. At least with talking, I can still enjoy the intercourse with the small price to pay of hearing someone ask me something unimportant like, "you like that?" or "where are the condoms?". However, with rapid climax, it's just wam, bam, thank you ma'am. It's like they get a few thrusts and ejaculate and I haven't even started touching myself. What's even worse is when someone penetrates me, pulls out, and ejaculates all over my stomach and chest. Well, now it's time to get this premature ejaculation business off my chest! Literally...
It's one thing if I'm at the mall with some guy and we go to a fitting room and have a quickie. Fine. I don't expect a man to take his time during that situation. We can definitely shave a few minutes off of foreplay time. But if I'm going home with a guy or I'm spending the night, I expect it once before we go to sleep and again when we wake up. And I expect it long and hard! No pun intended. At the same time, I don't expect a man to take hours either. I once had sex with a porn star and after what seemed to be like 30 minutes of intercourse, I decided to just cum all over myself and throw in the towel. I must admit, however, that I'd rather go through that situation again, then through the sixty-second situations I've had already.
I remember sitting in my college dorm room looking for sex on Myspace and came across a profile of a Mexican guy. For the sake of anonymity let's just call him Victor Cruz. Victor was a very good-looking guy and for some reason the one thing that stuck out the most about him were his eyebrows. They weren't too manly to the point where they were replaced by tattoos and they weren't too feminine to the point where they looked like upside down check marks. It's so annoying when a man's eyebrows are so groomed that it looks like he has the letter M on his forehead. Anywho, we talked for a bit before meeting up and he told me about his boring life and showed me a couple of interesting photos. He didn't have the best body, but he was still a strong, husky man, which I still appreciate. When we met up, we ended up watching TV for what seemed to be like a lifetime and a half until he finally laid my head on his lap. He worked his hand inside my pants and at that point I knew it was time. I started to undo his pants and give him head and I swear to god, I've never given head for so long in my life. I took this time to try new things and get creative. I went in different directions and at different speeds. I tried some maneuvers that I'd seen in porno clips and even tried a technique from a woman's magazine called Cosmopolitian. No matter what I did, however, he always had the same reaction. Nothing seemed to be better than anything else. Maybe I was doing something wrong. Maybe I wasn't spinning my tongue the right way. Either way, that was the last time I took advice from Cosmopolitan. After what seemed like years of giving head, he gets up to go get a condom. I decided to run to the bathroom and have a little last minute cleansing to make sure I don't smell too shitty. He comes back and sits down on the couch, putting the condom on his penis. I stand on the couch and get ready to sit on him. As soon as he's entered me entirely he says, "I just nutted." I was pissed.
"What?" I asked.
"I'm finished." He said.
"Oh," I said, obviously disappointed. He said our time together was fun and how he had a great time. I couldn't stop wondering who it was fun for or what a bad time would be like. I was pissed the whole way home because not only was I expecting a fair amount of intercourse, but the bastard didn't even offer me a ride home either. He texted me about a week and a half later asking if I wanted to pay him a visit. My response: "Yeah sure. Oh, wait. Never mind. I just came. This was fun."
Another guy that I met up with didn't even make it as far as Victor did. I never thought that would be possible, but my bad luck never fails to make miracles happen. I was on a website called Downelink which is like Myspace but strictly for gay people and by gay people I mean mostly Filipinos. I came across a profile by someone who's profile name was Dirty Dirty. Like Victor, Dirty Dirty didn't have the best body either. He was slim and fit, but his face is what really caught my eye. He had a really strong jaw line and big brown eyes. He was also very funny, which made me want to have sex with him more than just once.We met up at night where he picked me up from my house to take me to a park. I didn't know we were going to a park until I got in the car and naturally I just acted dumb as if I didn't know why we were going there. We went straight for the swings and began talking about something stupid like tampons or farts and like usual he was making me laugh. Half the time he was actually really funny and the other half I would laugh anyways just because he was cute and for some reason he liked my annoying laugh.
"I have an idea." Dirty Dirty said. "Let's play hide n seek." I was a little scared because one, I didn't exactly know where he was going with this and two, I've also suggested hide n seek when meeting up with a guy, but that was because I wanted him to close his eyes and count to thirty so I can run back home.
"Okay," I said. "but you're it!" I didn't plan on running away from him, but I didn't want karma to bite me in the ass that night.
"Rock, paper, scissors." Dirty Dirty negotiated.
"Fine." I agreed. Of course I lost. I went to a tree and started counting facing the tree, but by the time I got to nine, Dirty Dirty started kissing my neck. What a dirty, dirty trick he played. He unbuttoned my skinny jeans and took them off pretty easily. Either he has a few pairs himself or he's had other bottoms who wear the same jeans. Either way I wanted to know his secret because even when I'm sober I spend way too long taking off my jeans after a long night out. Anywho, he started rimming me for a while and I decided to return the favor by going down on him. Luckily, I didn't have to spend time making him erect. I heard him moaning like crazy and thought to myself, "man, I am doing a damn good job this time around." And then he came in my mouth. Not only was I pissed for not getting penetrated, I was disgusted by the salty taste of his cum in my mouth. I don't know about you guys, but having cum in my mouth tastes like someone just blew their nose in my mouth, using my tongue as a tissue. I spit out the cum and stayed bent over because I thought I might throw up.
"You're really good at that." said Dirty Dirty.
"I would have appreciated a little warning." I said. I spit out what I could of his remains inside my mouth and started picking up my pants.
"I thought you knew I was cumming." He said.
"I just thought you were loud in bed." I responded. I started walking away. Luckily, home wasn't far away.
"Where you going?" he asked.
"Home!" I screamed.
"You want me to come?" He asked.
"You already did!" I yelled. I never saw Dirty Dirty again, but he did message me on Downelink a few times after that, asking if we could arrange another meeting. I sent him a link to a page on how to exercise kegel muscles and he asked me what it was. I haven't communicated with him since.
Despite the lack of sex from the two stories above, nothing was worse than my most previous story about rapid climax. It doesn't involve one, but two men! No, it wasn't a threesome, but that would be funny if we were all getting hot n heavy and they both came at the same time while I was barely getting warmed up. Even funnier, if they had made each other cum while I was barely taking off my clothes or something. Anywho, I was having a night out on the town and wasn't drunk enough to find a man to take home from the club. I ended up taking two ecstasy tablets throughout the night, which resulted in me leaving the club very horny. I immediately started going on Grindr to look for sex and was surprised at the amount of men who were up looking for sex and hadn't even been out partying like me. I found one guy who looked pretty husky and I began entertaining myself with the idea of him picking me up and throwing me around. Husky wasn't too far from the club so I was there within ten minutes. When we met up, he was a little fatter than I expected but I was in no position to turn down sex at this point. We started getting to business and before you know it, he was getting up to go get a condom. After putting on the condom and lube, he penetrated me slowly and took long pauses. At first, I thought maybe I farted on accident and didn't feel or hear it, but then he began to go a little faster.
"I'm gonna blow." said Husky.
"Wait!" I exclaimed. I put one of my feet on his chest and gently pushed him off of me.
"What's the matter with you?" He asked, a little surprised at my reaction.
"Sorry." I said. "I wasn't ready." Husky penetrated me again and went just as slow as before. At this point, I wanted it to end since I probably would have had a better time having sex with a tiki torch. I felt like the sex wasn't going anywhere.
"Here I cum!" he said. Then he had some sort of climaxing seizure and laid on top of me. I asked him to get off so I can get dressed and get the hell out of there. "You don't want to stay the night?" He asked.
"Nah, I gotta get going." As soon as I left his house I went back on Grindr and within seconds Husky messages me again.
"Seconds?" He asked.
"No." I responded. "I already wasted sixty with you." I blocked him and haven't spoken to him since.
Soon after, I found another guy who was looking for sex who was right around the corner from Husky's house. He gave me his address and I made my way over. I told him I was outside and when he answered the door, I noticed that he had a white substance on both corners of his mouth.
"What's on your face?" I asked.
"Oh, that's probably the speed." He answered. Talk about a great first impression. I must admit I was a little happy to hear that he was under the influence of something because it gave me hope that it would prevent him from ejaculating so quickly. He led me up to his room and neither of us didn't want to waste any time. We were maybe 2 minutes into foreplay and already I was asking him to get a condom. He put on the condom and applied the lube and I began to ride the shit out of him.
"Blast off." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"I just came." He responded. I don't know if I was more mad that he came so unexpectedly without a moan or the fact that he said 'blast off' after he ejaculated. At this point, I was so furious that I just wanted to go buy a vibrator and lock myself in my room for the rest of the week.
"You've gotta be shitting me." I said. I started to get up and get dressed.
"What's wrong with you?" asked Speedy.
"Nothing's wrong with me. You're the minute man." I answered.
"What's that?" he asked. At this point I was halfway down a flight of stairs.
"Google it!" I yelled.
